Lindsay Dana's Journal

~well its been an interesting week. number one ive gotta say sorry!! i really am. i should have never done what i did in the first place. im not saying i regret it. im just saying i should have been honest with myself and with you. i just hope i havent hurt you. its been killing me i havent been able to go to sleep the past 2 nights because of it. all i want is for you to tell me it will all be okay... i cant really do the whole boyfriend thing unless i know im really into them.  <<unfortunately i wasnt very fair to you because i didnt think about that first >>

~im just happier this way i guess. i love being who i am. im a flirt and i know it.but anyways, college is only like 5 or 6 months away. PLENTY of hawt guys to look forward to ;) hehe. yeah okay so anyways. umm, yeah the whole boyfriend thing. id love one, mostly a date for prom, but i gotta look at the big picture. i dont wanna get pulled away from my friends, and i dont wanna have to leave him when i go to college ya know?  i just have more fun with my friends right now. STiLL want a date for prom tho! lol (*even if its just a guy friend that i can chill with- that way no pressure and nothing could really go wrong n stuff :) *)

~so yeah, only like 45 SCHOOL days left pour moi! veerrryyy excited about that. i really hope the school system wont be stupid and move graduation if we get anymore snow days, cause im really lovin it this year! perfect year to be a senior hehe :-D well mostly. im not liking all the college stuff. after i got into gordon i thought it'd be over. parents and i decided thats definately where im going, but wont let me send my official acceptance thingy because they wanna try and get a little more money from them lol. whatever, at least i know where im going and what i wanna do with my life (sorta)

aiight- im done for now i guess.. be back when i need to unwind and let everything out again. love ya lots!! MUAH! :-*

Current Mood: okay

Current Music: pillar- simply

i must say that this is like theeee best week ever. kelly is finnaaallyyy here :-D!!!! its beeen fuuun im happpy heheh. we've just chilled, watched some mooovies, gone to school of course. but i must say i like being an only child sometimes. but other times it gets boring... but whatever. its cool still.... a little taste of what college will be like i guess....

ilu

Current Mood: ecstatic

Current Music: shania twain- forever and for always

had a wicked awesome weekend with everyone :-D states was great... girls won of course haha. it was chill tho. went out to eat a lot, movies, mall, bus rides.... oh yeah, and the swimming part too lol... loved it all. :)  unfortunately its all over... wish it coulda lasted all week. i miss it lots. at least its still vacation!!

goin to the bball game tonight in augusta with gregory paul! hehe love that kid. he adores bbarr so much its crazy lol.

Current Mood: ecstatic

Current Music: incubus- drive

im learning. today was a real eye-opener. i dont need to make anyone else happy if it is not what i want. if there is something i know inside of me is not what i want to do, then i shouldnt do it. so therefore i am not going to give into something i know is completely not me! there is a reason we are apart and i am not going to go back on all the hard work that has taken me just about a year to realize this. i do not need physical attention from a guy 24/7 to feel alright. hey it makes me feel good tho. makes me feel wanted and loved. but not when they are on something and arent themselves. i cannot stand that. therefore i will say no (for all of you who know what im talking about, i wont do it i swear there are too many ppl who could get hurt, including my wonderful 'sister' lol and i really dont want that to happen. nor do i wanna screw up anything that could happen with a certain guy. but today. i am very content with myself. i feel really good just being me. when a guy i know likes another girl, it is okay. i dont like all guys, not all need to like me. and i am honestly okay with that. im in such a better mood now and have been for the past week (except a minor slip last night watching the notebook- right kel!! ahhaa)  but its all goood cause then john actually talked some sense into me last night (even if he didnt mean to lol) and im glad i have such good friends who actually care about me and not only themselves (like some ones ive had in the past.) thanks guys! :)

FIELD HOCKEY TODAY AT 4:30! wicked excited havent played in like forever i miss our talks to em! lol

Current Mood: content

Current Music: vanessa carlton- pretty baby

wow ive determined i need like 2 guys to be really happy. one to actually flirt with and fool around with ya know. and another one to like, care about in another way- one i can actually relate to n stuff like that. that way, when i get sick of fooling around, and when i wanna get serious, i just switch ( and vise versa) i think it works better that way! lol....  at least until i find a guy that can be both :)

ps. hitch is like theee best movie ever! chick flick, but wicked hilarious!!

xoxox  ~Lins

Current Mood: giggly

Current Music: crossfade- cold

confused... seee i thought that the guy i might like liked me... now im not so sure. i wish everything was black and white... with no gray inbetween. i wanna know how he feels, but without getting hurt. i dont think i can have it that way tho. especially if ppl try to convince me one way or the other about how i feel. i hate that. i mean i like talking to my friends about problems and what i should do, but dont try to tell me how i feel. like "oh you dont like them, or oh, you should like them" it makes me even more confused. then when you just cant let someone go that you know you need to. thats the worst. i guess i just gotta learn to go with it and have some fun ;) awww see now i feel better ahaha..... writing makes me feeel better!!

ciao!!

Current Mood: okay

Current Music: dad tearing apart our bathroom/ ciara- 1,2 step

yesterday was alisons birthday! yaaay...

anyways, went to the guys southwesterns last night. they got 5th (outta 12) which is pretty good considering there are only 8 guys. everyone wanted the cookies kel and i made. i guess we are gonna have to make more. i guess laura wants us to make her cake as well! lol fiiine with us ahaha maybe we'll be chefs when we grow up tehehe. yeeahhh

girls southwesterns are today and im wicked excited... i get to spend like 6 hours at a pool with like a gazillion girls all around plus parents watchin in the stands. doesnt that sound like fun?! (not) but i really am excited i love it cause we always win ahhaa.then tonight i get to go to alisooons for some cake she is gonna save me... im so happy ahhaa

*you're my only infatuation* ilu

Current Mood: loved

Current Music: chevelle-send the pain below

well life is good. these past like 4 days or so, everythings been wonderful. no drama, no guy problems. just chill. went out for chinese with greg and kelly yesterday afterschool. yummm! only 4 more months and im gooone! actually, 4 months 3 days :)  im wicked excited if you couldnt tell. i bring it up almost every day with someone. lol. im getting really sick of swimmming. sorta. mostly the practices. im bored with it. im looking forwaard to states tho.

went to kellys today after school. we made cookies with pink n red n white m&ms!! yummmy... all the while watching napoleon dynamite. by far the stupidest yet funny movie ever ahha. anthony palanza called me too! it was the strangest thing... never thought he'd actually call lol.... oh well

off to practice i go :(

Current Mood: bouncy

Current Music: skillet-my obsession

im a flirt. no matter how hard i try not to be, i am. i just cant help it. unfortunately, i have sooo many guy friends, and i let my emotions get the better of me. the key word there is friends. i over analyze and then i end up just hurting myself. i just gotta let it all go and learn to just roll with it. if something good happens then yay. if not, whatever. ive got plenty of friends who i enjoy spending time with. i do not need to worry about a boyfriend right now unless the opportunity presents itself in which i like a guy who happens to be interested in me lol... anyways

im kinda scared/nervous/excited for college. im gonna miss all of you so freakin much, but i am gonna be sooo happy to get out of falmouth. i really need to. so much drama (even tho half the time thats my fault lol)  i want you alll to come visit okay?!

i cant really believe i have started one of these things, but writing stuff down helps me get my thoughts organized. i get less confused that way... and thats gooood.  so yeeah

ive got a meet tomorrow. its the first one im actually kinda worried about. its cape. we've never swam against them before. i know they've been good, but now that taylor mcfarlans gone, who knows... undefeated yet again this season and we better stay that way ahah. im wicked excited for states. i just looove staying in hotels for some reason hehe. especially with friiiiends

prom's in like 4 months.... woooah! still trying to decide one thing. find a daate, or go with a buncha friends. its really only a biiig fancy dance. a date would be nice. go out to dinner... have someone to slow dance with, blah blah. but with friends it'd be chill and fun. well i guess ive got time to think about it lol.

our downstairs bathroom is completely torm apart... and i just got informed that soon our entire house will be. dads next redoing the kitchen then building a bathroom/ walk in closets in the master BR and then redoing all the floors! why am i always the last to know these things!? hmm oh well... guess thats it for now :) byebye

snapple "real fact" #10 :mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas!

Current Mood: content

Current Music: papa roach- scars